The road racing season is OVER!  That’s hard to accept when we’re still racing and training in summer gear. 

Yes, yes, yes, I know there are those obstacle course races called “cycle cross.”  I know that “cycle cross” is an excellent workout.  And I’ve been told that “cycle cross” events are 4,000 times less pretentious than any criterium. 

But as far as I’m concerned, I’m done with race entry fees till 2008.  Now it’s time for fun training rides.  Or even no riding at all.  Heck, I might even go running.  It’s been two years since I’ve given Eric Goodwin a good thumping in a cross country running event.  He’s due for another crushing defeat, but I’ll have to train for that.

Sunday’s finale was frustrating.  For starters, Jason Mindeman couldn’t come out to the race because his house was surrounded by rioting marathoners.  Just as he tried to pull the car out of the Mindeman compound, he was swarmed by heat exhausted trotters.  They stole his cooler of drinks and forced him to man a garden hose for the thirsty masses.

Jason was no match for the crazed marathon mob.

Out at the race, the wind was practically nill, which made being a breakaway artist a tough job.  Attack after attack after attack went off for the entire race (The average speed was 26.3), but nothing ever got dangerously out of sight.  I tried my darnedest to gallop up the road to glory, but at the bell, I was limping home at the rear of the pack, exhausted and with a shirt pocket full of burnt matches.  Matt Smith, however, roared in the bunch sprint and got second in da 3's.

Oh, but then I stopped, and looked at my Power Tap.  It read 306 as an average wattage.  That’s 60 more watts than I’d ever seen as an average for a race and for a guy that weighs 145 lbs, it’s a very big number. 

I hopped and skipped around the parking lot, campaigning my average wattage to the racers who’d just finished in front of me.   Upon seeing that beautiful average wattage, babies cried, women fainted, race officials reached for their drug testing kits, and – most importantly – my fellow racers fell to the ground in the fetal position and sucked their thumbs.  I was King of Average Wattage!

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But then I got home and realized I hadn’t zeroed out the power tap before the race and all the readings were at least 50 watts too high. 

But I’ll never tell.  All those guys in the parking lot have all winter to fret about how freaking huge my power tap said I was at the finale of the Chicagoland road racing season.